Dwarf

The Dwarf , or mostly called,the Midget, was the first human created, and made the FSM have second thoughts about wheather his human idea was a good thing. The dwarf lived in the Olive Garden of Eden, where he was told he could eat anything in the gardern except for the

"...the olive tree, for the olive itself is good, but the pit inside is rock hard, and you could choke on it, or break a tooth..." -FSM
The Midget ignored this for most of the time, since he didn't feet like eating pasta and olives for seven days a week, so he renamed the food groups, since the original names were much to complex for this early man to understand.

Food Groups
The FSM's names that were created for the foot groups, were rewritten the Dwarf, for whatever reason. The original food groups as they were created appear below. Man couldn't take the time to say these four to seven letter words all the time, so he devised new names seen below.
 * Cattle
 * Pigs
 * Chicken


 * Beef


 * Ham, or Pork


 * Chicken (Wasn't creative enough to make up more new names)

Disappearance
The Dwarf decays from FSM history, as the FSM supposedly forgot about the Dwarf. The Dwarf's current where abouts are unknown.

Bes
was an Egyptian deity worshipped in the later periods of dynastic history as a protector of households and in particular mothers and children. In time he would be regarded as the defender of everything good and the enemy of all that is bad. While past studies identified Bes as a Middle Kingdom import from Nubia, some more recent research believes him to be an Egyptian native. Mentions of Bes can be traced to the southern lands of the Old Kingdom; however his cult did not become widespread until well into the New Kingdom. Images of the deity were kept in homes and he was depicted quite differently from the other gods. Normally Egyptian gods were shown in profile, but instead Bes appeared in portrait, ithyphallic, and sometimes in a soldier's tunic, so as to appear ready to launch an attack on any approaching evil. He scared away demons from houses, so his statue was put up as a protector. Bes was a household protector, throughout ancient Egyptian history becoming responsible for such varied tasks as killing snakes, fighting off evil spirits, watching after children, and aiding (by fighting off evil spirits) women in labour (and thus present with Taweret at births). Since he drove off evil, Bes also came to symbolize the good things in life - music, dance, and sexual pleasure. Later, in the Ptolemaic period of Egyptian history, chambers were constructed, painted with images of Bes and his wife Beset, thought by Egyptologists to have been for the purpose of curing fertility problems or general healing rituals. Many instances of Bes masks and costumes from the New Kingdom and later have been uncovered. These show considerable wear, thought to be too great for occasional use at festivals, and are therefore thought to have been used by professional performers, or given out for rent. In the New Kingdom, tattoos of Bes could be found on the thighs of dancers, musicians and servant girls. Like many Egyptian gods, the worship of Bes was exported overseas, and he, in particular, proved popular with the Phoenicians and the ancient Cypriots. The cult of Saint Bessus in northern Italy may represent the Christianization of the cult associated with Bes; St. Bessus was also invoked for fertility, and Bessus and Bes are both associated with an ostrich feather in their iconography. The Balearic island of Ibiza derives its actual name from this God, brought along with the first Phoenician settlers 654 BC. These settlers, amazed at the lack of any sort of venenous creatures on the island thought it to be the island of Bes. Later romans called it Ebusus.